Our first school for emotional learning

"Family life is our first school for emotional learning." 

- Daniel Goleman (Pyschologist and author of the book Emotional Intelligence)

The case study of Pepe shows an emotionally stressed student, who just received his test results. He is said to be begging his teacher, Mrs. Cruz, not to send it home. Sending the test papers home is a routine intended to update parents of their children's progress in school. It is clear that the reason for his distress is related to his low grades. It may seem that in the past, perhaps he received a similar mark and maybe was reprimanded by his mother, who in the description, was said to be a perfectionist. So learning from his past experience, I guess we can say that Pepe has a conditioned response from his low grades, perhaps the reaction of the mother was one of disappointment and anger towards it. This association to his mother's response is the cause of his anxiety and stress. Had his mother shown empathy to Pepe in his previous test results, then his reaction would not be one of jitters. Students who have emotional baggage don't leave their problems at the school door. Pepe should calm down and examine deeply where the root cause of his anxiety is coming from. He will need to change his association of getting a low score with a positive one. For this to happen, a parent-teacher conference should take place, so that the mother of Pepe is made aware of his condition and the unintended stress that he is causing his son would be removed. Maybe the mother is unaware that his son is having difficulty in class, positive steps could be taken so that Pepe can handle situations such as this. It should be made clear to Pepe that it's OK to fail once in a while. He should develop grit to be able to overcome the ups and downs of life. Moreover, he should learn to resolve his feelings towards his mother and the high expectations she has of him. Life is not perfect and trying to be one will definitely cause frustration and sadness. His mother should also model to Pepe how it is to be resilient in the face of failure. This way, he can learn to be strong and brave when things don't go his way. They say charity begins at home, but I believe all the other virtues, start at home--not just charity. Children should practice the virtues of perseverance, hard work, patience, and even kindness. Kindness to one's self, when things don't go as planned. These virtues take root in an individual's mind and heart from the lessons taught to him at home.

A reward and punishment system can be implemented to motivate him, but this should be done with caution. It has been said that these systems are manipulative, because it would seem like a bribe. It would also be sending the wrong message as to why he should be doing his lessons or homeworks, because "there's something in it for him" and not just simply because he wants to learn. It can breed resentment and more negativity in the long run. Effort should be the focus and not the end result.


I realize that educators and parents are really partners in bringing up emotionally stable individuals. Both the home and the school should be an environment that fosters a natural love for learning and not just getting high grades. 

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